Thanks for Last Night, Without the Pancakes
by Mistress Nikki Heat
Summary: My spin on the Morning After... contains spoilers for Always. Avid FF reader, but this is my first shot at writing fanfiction, please review! Sex scenes/Fluffy Casketty Goodness! Disclaimer: I do not own Castle...unfortunately.
1. Chapter 1

Castle and Beckett are in bed, Beckett with her head on Castle's shoulder and hand on his chest (similiar to their waking up position in cuffed). Beckett begins to stir, and as she opens her eyes she sees Castle's head turned toward her, eyes open and full of love as he begins to smile.

"Well good morning Detective Beckett". Kate rolls on her side and laughs as she asks, "Were you really watching me sleep?"

"You know", Castle begins, "You're only the second woman I've ever had the desire to admire in her sleep". Kate gets a confused look on her face, silently wondering who is the first.

"The first being Alexis", he responds and Kate's grin returns. The two fall into silence for a moment, reminiscing on last night's….activities. "Are you hungry?" It was Castle who broke the silence. "I know I worked up an appetite last night…" he jokes. Kate is grateful that Castle uses his sense of humor as a coping mechanism for preventing awkward silences. She laughs and replies by placing a soft kiss on his lips. "Starving actually" she quietly whispers into his mouth in a low, yet sexy tone. Amazing how much she can turn him on with two simple words.

This time it is Castle who initiates a kiss, as he gently tucks the stray pieces of the beautiful detective's hair behind her ear. He stares into her light brown eyes, wondering how he got so lucky to be in bed, gazing into the eyes of the woman he loves. Rick begins to roll toward her, and she gently places her hand on his chest. "Last night…" she begins. "..was amazing" Castle replies before she can finish the sentence.

"Exactly" she says, as she playfully pushes the mystery writer onto his back again, and climbs atop him, wrapped in his bed sheets. He laughs and says, "Looks like I turned out to be one of your conquests after all, Detective Beckett" reflecting back to the first case they ever solved together, nearly five years ago. When he first met her, he was instantly attracted to her hard-to-get personality and her uncanny ability to take control of every situation she is faced with. Castle takes note that this quality is even more attractive when she's in his bed.

Kate smiles and replies "Looks like you have Writer Man" as she playfully taps his nose and places a soft yet passionate kiss upon his lips. When the two finally break apart, Castle replies, "By the way, I think it might be time for you to start calling me Rick…."

"Now why would I want to do that, Rick?" she asks in a sexy and sassy tone. A chill runs up his back as he hears the name she had been screaming mere hours earlier. Only this time it wasn't followed by ohhh please or give it to me now. Still, it was hot. Really hot. Castle's thoughts are interrupted as she continues to speak. "I like calling you Castle" Kate finished, in a semi-whiny tone.

"Well, that was not your position last night." Castle begins, a sly grin growing on his face. "Assuming you recall last night's…position.."

Kate's cheeks begin to blush as she grunts out, "Castle!" and grabs his ear between her two fingers, beginning to twist. "Apples, Apples, Apples!" He shouts immediately, begging her to release his ear.

Realizing this conversation is going nowhere, Rick tickles her, forcing her to roll over and return to her side of the bed, laughing. As they both begin to relax, Castle becomes painfully aware of how hungry he is. Checking the clock, he realizes Kate had arrived at his door over 12 hours ago, and imagines she must be as hungry as he is. "Let's go Kate", he says as he leans over and kisses her forehead, "We've still got some cooking to do".

Rick grabs his boxers and t shirt from the side of the bed, and hands Kate his long, wine-colored button-down shirt. She searches the room to find her disregarded lacy black undies and slips them on under his shirt. He admires her for a moment, noting that even with no makeup, bed head, and a shirt that's three times her size, she is a natural beauty. "You're staring Rick" she says, grinning ear to ear.

Rick snaps out of it, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. He lingers for a moment, gazing into her soft hazel eyes before he replies, "Sorry, come on, let's go make some breakfast".

Kate smiles and reaches for his hand, and they proceed into the kitchen. They begin cooking bacon and eggs, and of course perking the coffee. "Is this cooked enough for you?" Rick asks as he places a piece of bacon into her mouth. "Perfect" she replies, flashing him a playful grin before she continues stirring the eggs, milk and cheese in a bowl. He admires her focus, and resists the urge to kiss every inch of skin the oversized shirt revealed. He can save that for later.

Rick goes over to grab mugs out of the cabinet, and walks to the coffee pot. As he begins pouring the coffee, she quietly sneaks up on him and wraps her arms around his waist. Alarmed by the unexpected touch, Castle jumps, spilling the hot coffee all over the counter.

"What happened Castle, you ordered so many cups at Starbucks you forgot how to pour your own coffee?" she laughs.

"Katherine Beckett I'm extremely disappointed in you! And youwill pay for that, just so you know" Kate laughs and returns to stirring the eggs.

"You know," Castle begins after a few moments have passed, formulating a plan as he moves closer to her. On her guard, Kate drops the bowl and turns to face him. He places his hands on the counter behind her, as he seductively moves closer, pinning her to the counter.

His eyes are fixed upon hers, as he shifts his hips closer to her body. He places one hand on her thigh, and begins slowly sliding it under his shirt, toward her hip bone. His soft touch makes her knees weak, and she clings to his broad shoulders to stabilize herself as he traces slow circles on her skin. " I never got to properly thank you for last night" he says as he reaches behind her, now slowly running one hand up the spine of her back, pulling himself closer. Kate stares deeply into the writer's kind eyes, losing all inhibitions.

Rick begins to get an evil grin on his face and yells, "Gotcha!" as he lifts his other arm off the counter, pouring the bowl of egg mixture down the back of the detective's shirt. "Ca-stle!" she screams as she squirms, and the writer begins to run in the opposite direction.

Beckett dips her hands into the remaining mixture, and runs off after him. She quickly catches him and jumps on his back, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist, and her arms around his neck, cupping his face with her slimy hands. They both laugh and fall over onto the floor, sharing a playful, yet passionate kiss. Unbeknownst to the writer and his muse, a key slowly begins to turn in the front door…..


	2. Chapter 2

The door to the loft loudly swings open, revealing Ms Martha Rodgers, adorned in a long black business-like skirt, a sequin blazer, large black sunglasses, and an oversized animal print over-night bag. She begins storming through the kitchen shouting, "Oh Richard, are you alive in here? Alexis called me this morning worried sick about you, insisting I should come home and make sure you weren't wallowing in-", Martha is suddenly silenced by the scene in front of her, "Self pity", she finally finishes.

"Well hello, Mother", Castle replies, trying to maintain his cool, seeing as Kate appears frozen with the same deer-in-the-headlights look she's had since Martha walked in. Finally his muse snaps out of it and rolls herself off of him. Kate is amazed that she had made it through her high school years (and the other 30 years of her life for that matter) without ever getting caught straddling her boyfriend on the kitchen floor, by his mother nonetheless. I guess there's a first time for everything, she thinks to herself as she attempts to hike down Castle's dress shirt as modestly as possible. "I am so sorry, Martha. I-"

Martha cuts her off quickly, "Oh honey, who am I to judge? If only my son had listened to his mother…" Martha shoots Castle a quick glare, "…I would have probably walked in on this situation two years earlier!" Kate begins to laugh as Castle says, "Mother!" and Kate senses a little embarrassment in his tone. Martha laughs and continues, "Nonetheless, Kate, it is always a pleasure to see you. Especially because I thought I would coming home to Richard passed out on the couch next to a bottle of scotch…"

"Okay Mother, don't you have to go upstairs to change or something? You're slightly overdressed for standing in my kitchen and criticizing my less-than-proud life moments. Especially when I haven't had my coffee yet". Kate pokes him and shoots him a glare, implying her should be nicer to his mother, especially considering the state she found them in. "Yes, I can see that," Martha laughs as she looks to the coffee, still spilled on the counter, then back to the writer and his muse, still half-dressed on the floor. "But alright I will leave you two in peace." Castle lets out a sigh of relief, as she leaves the kitchen.

"Carpe Diem… Seize the day my darlings, while you still can!" she shouts as she waltzes up the stairs, needing the throw in her two cents for the last time before she leaves the two alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Now that Martha has vacated the kitchen to head upstairs, Kate carefully resumes her position, straddling the writer on the kitchen floor. Her long brunette hair hangs down, softly grazing his face. Castle smiles up at her, lost in her beautiful eyes. They look brighter this morning, happier. _And she hasn't even had her coffee yet _he thinks to himself, admiring her beauty as she returns his smile. She leans her head down to his ear, "So what are we gonna do now, Writer boy?" she teases, slowly unbuttoning two more buttons on his dress shirt. He laughs, "What happened to Writer _Man_, I liked that much better", as he tucks her brunette locks behind her right ear. "And I don't know Detective Beckett-" he began, and that's when he sees it.

Her neck has dark purple finger marks on each side, marks that were not visible in the darkness last night and had been blocked by her hair and the collar of his shirt this morning. Marks that make it seem like she had been-he can't even finish the thought before he says, "Kate…" and instantly she realizes what has caused his unusual behavior. She quickly slides off of him, un-tucking her hair to cover the bruising. Before she can move too far, Castle reaches out and softly tugs her wrist. His eyes catch hers and she turns, the eyes that had looked so bright moments ago have become a dark shade of brown, with tears beginning to well up in the corners.

"Come here", he says as he places her head on his shoulder. He begins to slowly run his hands through her hair as he hears her softly sobbing into his shoulder, "I'm so sorry Rick, I am so sorry". He places a few softly kisses into her hair as he rubs soothing circles onto her back. She winces a little and he quickly removes his hand as if he had been burned. "I didn't mean to hurt you I just-", as she lifts her head and silences him with a soft kiss on the cheek.

"He strangled me Rick," she begins, realizing she owes him the truth about what happened last night, no matter how hard it is for her. His eyes lock up hers as he listens attentively. "We found him at his hotel and had someone open his room to search it. We found all of Montgomery's files but before we could get out and call for backup, Maddox showed up and got the drop on Esposito. He knocked my gun out of my hand and I grabbed it off the floor and chased him up onto the roof. He snuck up behind me and we struggled, and then he choked me.." she continues, slowly running her finger over the marks on her neck with a dazed look in her eyes, remembering the pain she'd felt the day before.

Knowing the pain she will see, she is unable to look into his eyes and drops her gaze to the floor as she continues, "When he finally let go he kicked me to the ground. He told me I didn't know what I was up against, and he was right…." She stops talking for a moment, and unbuttons the last few buttons on the bottom of his shirt. And it is not her lacy black panties that catch his eye, but rather the large purple bruise that consumes a majority of her abdomen. "Oh my God, Kate-" but she cuts him off, "Please just let me finish Castle, I want you to really know everything that happened last night" as tears begin to well up in her eyes. Needing to feel close to her, Rick grabs her wrist and begins tracing light, comforting circles around the top of her delicate hand as she continues.

"We continued to struggle and the next thing I knew he tossed me off the roof, and I was hanging by my fingertips", she says as he slowly begins to turn her hand over, looking at her fingertips that were rubbed raw from hanging off the concrete. He looks up at her, wanting to say something, but when he sees the pain in her eyes, he turns her hand back over and continues rubbing the comforting circles, allowing her to continue.

"When I was hanging there Rick, I wasn't thinking about the man who shot me, or the one who shot Montgomery, or even my mom's case at all. All I could think about in that moment was how I could die right then and you would never know how much I –" and she cuts herself off, and thinks before she finishes her sentence, "_care_ about you Rick, and how I would never have the chance to tell you how I really feel. I know it's taken me a long time to get _here_, and I know it will probably take me a little longer to tell you that words I _want_ to say and I _know_ you want to hear..." She looks down at his hand, which is now tightly wrapped around hers. Not tight enough where it causes her pain, but just tight enough where she feels safe. It's just right. "But what I can tell you now is that the last four years have been some of the most challenging, emotional, and most _fun_ years of my life and I have you to thank for that. I was lost Rick. Lost in my job, and my mom's case and dead end relationships…and you found me. You found me and you always gave me a reason to get up and go to work and do my job. You helped me give families closure. And give them a future. And you helped me realize that I can have a future too. And I want one….with _you." _ She lifts her eyes from their joined hands to his eyes, and sees tears begin to fall.

"Thank you Kate, that really means a lot to me. I thought I lost you Kate, I thought you didn't feel the same way about me. And I care-" then he thought about his choice of words and corrects himself, "_love_ you so much that I couldn't bear the thought of losing you as a friend. And as a partner. I almost watched you die once Kate-" and now it is he who has that dazed stare in his eyes, the one you get recalling painful memories, "in that ambulance I watched you bleed out, not knowing if I was ever going to see you again. You are my world Kate. You and Alexis and my mother and the boys, you guys are my family. And I wish I was there for you when you needed me. I just left you there on that roof-"

"No Castle, please. Don't do this. I'm glad you weren't there. I'm glad you weren't there because if you were, we might both be dead. You would want to save me and I would be hanging from that ledge so worried about keeping you safe because I couldn't stand the thought of living without you. Before I even met you Castle, you saved me." Kate looks up at his face, and he stares back, confused. "Remember that case with Will? One day we were driving in the car after I had sent you home and he asked me if I ever told you how important your books were to me when my mom was murdered. And I didn't want to tell you, because you were still that annoying sidekick who butted into my personal life and toted around bimbos at parties and signed women's chests at book signings. It didn't seem like you needed what I thought would just be an ego boost for you back then. But then you became so much more than that Rick. You became the guy who made me smile every day with just a cup of coffee. The guy I would call when I just needed to talk. The guy who saved my life and the lives of others with his crazy, yet successful plans. The guy who bought me flowers when I was upset. The guy who makes me laugh when I cry. The guy who is not only my partner, but my best friend. And that guy is the one who's sitting in front of me right now, and deserves to know how important he was to me, even before we met".


	4. Chapter 4

As Kate looked up, she could tell he was extremely touched by her words. The tears continued to fall from his cheeks, and she could tell hung upon each word she said. He leaned into her and placed a soft kiss upon her forehead, then nodded, encouraging her to continue. This man in front of her, this beautiful, sweet man. She wasn't sure she could find the words to convey how much he has meant to her, after all _he_ is the best- selling author. But that didn't mean she wasn't going to try.

"Your books, Rick, they kept me sane after my mom's murder. Everyone has an outlet for their grief. Something that makes them feel better, when it feels like their world is crashing down around them. My dad's outlet was his drinking." Her voice trailed off as she looked down at the ground, struggling to continue. "He drank away his pain, and I thought that I was going to lose him too. When it all got to be too much for me, I turned to your books. My mother had loved them as well. They reminded her of the reason she did what she did. The reason she dug for the truth, and fought for justice. That was what had gotten her killed, and after she died, your books reminded me of her. Of the remarkable person she was and why she did what she did. They reminded me of all the good she did in the world before she was taken from it. Your words were wise and comforting, and your writing provided me with a sense of peace. I always admired you as a writer, and now I admire you as a person. Your books helped me become who I am today. They helped me realize that I wanted to spend my life providing families with the same justice my mother did. Your books saved me before I met you, and now you have saved me. Saved me from myself, and made me realize that my life is worth more than my mother's death."

She pauses for a moment, and lifts her head to look into his eyes. "She would have loved you Rick. She was brave and passionate, just like you are. If she could see me now, if she has seen everything I have done to try to make the bastards who killed her pay, I think what would make her most proud is that I finally gave up and realized what was really important. And that is you. She loved her job, but she loved me and my dad more. Family was more important to her. She lived and she loved, and I know she would want me to do the same. And I wanted you to know that before I tell you what I am about to tell you…"

He looks up at her, still shocked by the words she had said. He can't imagine what else could possibly be left. Kate Beckett, the guarded, strong, damaged, but incredibly beautiful person she is, has just opened her heart to him. And now she is looking him square in the eyes, ready to share more with him. Realizing she has his undivided attention, she continues, " I resigned Rick, I'm not a cop anymore".

Shocked, his jaw nearly drops, but he tries to compose himself quickly, because when he looks into her eyes, he can tell there is more she wants to say. He stays quiet, allowing her to continue. "Gates was going to put Espo and I on mandatory leave, and when I looked down at my badge before handing it to her, something felt different. For a long time, the badge has been a huge part of who I am. I dedicated my life to my job, you know that. I believed that it defined who I was, just like my mother's murder investigation. That's why once I started again, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stop. It was like a part of me died with my mother, and I needed to find out who killed her to get that back. And then you showed up at the precinct, and the more time I spent with you, the more I realized you were like a breath of fresh air for me. A new beginning, a better life. After we fought the day Captain Montgomery died, he told me that he could have gotten rid of you years ago at the precinct. That it was his ship and he could boot you off whenever he wanted. But he didn't because he saw how good you were for me. He told me what a great detective I am, but how I wasn't having any fun until you came around. And he was right Rick, you made me realize I could laugh again, and that sometimes it wasn't so bad to cry when you have a shoulder to cry on. You've stood with me Rick, you always have. Since I lost my mom, I have been afraid to truly love someone, because I didn't want to go through the pain of losing someone I love. I saw what losing a loved one did to my dad, and did to me. But when I was hanging from that roof, Castle, the thought of losing you without telling you how I feel-",but now the pain of the memory became too much for her, and she began to cry.

"Shhhhh, come here Kate," Castle said to her, pulling her into a warm embrace. "I love you Kate, and you're here now. And I'm not letting you go. Not now, not ever. I promise." Kate is now scrunched up in a ball, knees to her chest. He places a kiss on her forehead, as he slides one arm under her knees and the other behind her back and lifts her off the floor. "Thank you Castle" she says, a small grin beginning to form on her face.

"Come on, how about we get you in the bathtub to soak those bruises. Black and blue have always been lovely colors on you… just not like that…" She laughs and his joke makes a smile finally appear on her face. His Kate is back.

"Okay, Castle," she teases, "But only if you're coming with me…" Castle gets a devilish grin on his face and replies, "Well if you insist Miss Beckett…" as he continues to carry her into his bathroom.


	5. Chapter 5

When they reach the bathroom, Castle softly places her down on a stool in the corner of the room. She watches as he warms up the water, periodically running his hand under to make sure the temperature was just right. He moves over to the cabinet and pulls out some bath salts. As he lifts the top to pour them in, she senses a soft hint of vanilla. He returns to the cabinet, removing several candles and placing them on the edge of the marble tub. _Leave it to him to have all the makings for a romantic bath on hand_ she thinks to herself as he lights a flame on each of the candles. She continues admiring him in silence, grateful for all he is doing just to make her more comfortable. As he moves over to dim the lights, Kate begins to strip off his shirt.

It is then that Castle gently grabs her hand, and breaks the silence. She stops moving for a moment, as he whispers, "_Please_, let me help you, Kate". She stares into his eyes for a moment, before nodding her head, symbolizing she will allow him to assist her. Kate Beckett was born independent, yet somehow, sitting on this stool, looking into his eyes, she realizes she wouldn't mind letting him take care of her. Not now… not _ever_.

She is pulled out of her daydream as she notices the change in lighting. She looks over to see Rick turning a black knob, allowing only a small amount of light to remain, other than that produced by the candles. She then sees him reach a little to his left, and turn another knob, this one is white. She spots a soft white light illuminating the water in his Jacuzzi-style bath tub. _This man has it all, doesn't he?_ Even in the dark, romantic lighting, she still sees a sparkle in his eye as he slowly walks over to her. This man loves her. And despite being a best-selling author, the look in his eyes in that moment conveys more love and affection than any words ever could. Kate meets his gaze, and she can't help but smile. Once he reaches her, he bends down onto both his knees in front of her, holding her small hands in his, never once losing eye contact with her.

He is now at eye level with her, gazing into each other's eyes in comfortable silence. She removes her hands from much larger ones, and slowly reaches her arms above her head, maintaining eye contact. He takes her hint and places his hands at the top of her thighs, and begins moving his hands up her sides, taking the shirt with him. He moves with such grace, and is extra gentle as his fingers slide over the bruises he had becomes painfully aware of only moments ago.

As the shirt reaches over her head, her fingers get stuck in the sleeves. He hears her chuckle softly, and he smiles back at her as he lifts himself up to untangle the shirt from her fingers. He knows he doesn't have to be perfect, _because she already is._ And she still wants him. Before going back down to eye level, he places a kiss onto her forehead. She closes her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his lips, and allows a slight moan to escape from her lips. Seeing the pleasure she is getting from this he decides to continue. He slides his face down to place a kiss on her nose, before he moves over to her cheek, and continues grazing his lips over the underside of her jaw, placing soft wet kisses there, as another moan escapes her.

He places his hands on her shoulders, and runs them down her back, then back up her arms. He feathers kisses around her shoulders, moving down toward her heart. He places his hand on the skin next to her scar and slowly moves his mouth onto her skin, placing a kiss so soft upon the scar that she can barely feel his lips on her. She shivers at the gentle touch, and he looks up into her eyes. He is instantly reminded of the bullet that nearly took her from him a year ago. He is reminded of the glare he saw in the distance, and his failed attempt to save her from her fate. He can still feel the sun beating on his back, as he held her limp body in his hands. As she bled out on the green grass right in front of him. Of his desperate confession of love, and begging her not to leave him. The long summer without her, and the many phone calls to her father, checking on how she is doing. Then, her confession that she had heard what he said, and his downward, heartbroken spiral that followed. The day he told her those walls were finally coming down, and she wanted him to be there when they did. And finally, last night, when he showed up at her door, desperate to show him how she feels. _The last year of their lives, that occurred all because of one little scar._

Even in the darkness, she could see a tear escape from his eyes. She reached her hands up and cupped his cheeks, squashing the tear before more could appear. As if she was reading his mind, she gazes into his eyes and says, "I know Rick. I promise I'm not going anywhere anymore. I want to be here with you, _always". _She places a kiss on his forehead before lowering her lips to his, and they embrace in a passionate kiss. When they finally part, he lifts her up and places her gently into the bathtub. He begins to undress himself and carefully climbs into the tub behind her. He places his hands on her thighs, and begins tracing patterns on her skin. It's not an arousing touch, but rather a _comforting_ one. She sighs as she leans back into his broad chest, comfortable in his embrace. She closes her eyes, beginning to drift off to a relaxing sleep. The last thing she hears is Castle softly whisper into her ear, "I know, I love you too Kate".

Hey guys I hope you like where this story is going! I have a lot of ideas on how alexis and the crew at the precinct are going to handle all of this and definitely plan on incorporating some funny stuff in the future! As always reviews are appreciated and I would love to hear your feedback! I try to respond to my reviews in a timely manner, and update as much as possible! Thanks!


	6. Chapter 6

Kate begins to stir, and as she slowly opens her eyes, she realizes where she is. _Amazing I could barely relax enough to sleep in a bed with any other man for twenty years, and this man I can sleep with in a freakin bath tub._ She tilts her head back just enough to see Castle looking down upon her. "Watching me sleep again, I see", she states, playfully.

"I just can't help it when you look so peaceful", he smiles a sleepy smile at her before beginning to trace the line of her jaw with gentle kisses. "I guess I can't complain", she sighs, "if you're going to wake me up like this". She closes her eyes as he continues feathering kisses down the back of her neck and around to her shoulder blades.

"How about we get you out of this tub? I can feel your toes getting a little clammy" he smiles as he rubs his foot up against hers, causing her to blush slightly. She begins to get up and he follows behind her, hands upon her waist, making sure she knows he will always catch her if she falls. They step out of the bathtub together, and he reaches for a fluffy white towel off the rack to the right of the tub. He begins to dry her off, being careful not to press too hard upon any of the many bruises upon her perfect skin. He notices that even with her skin flawed by bruises, her beauty takes his breath away. He is also happy to see that the tub had taken down some of the swelling he had seen earlier in the day.

He quickly dries himself off before walking her into his bedroom and tucking her under the sheets. He snuggles up behind her, the warmth of his body taking her by surprise. She tucks herself perfectly into his curves and relaxes as he puts his strong arms around her. "How are you feeling?" he asks quietly. "A little bit better," she responds as she begins to turn herself over in his arms to face him. She knows he is worried and she wants to convey to him that she is okay. "A couple bruises still hurt right now, but overall I feel better".

He begins slowly running his hand down her side as he asks, "Which ones hurt right now?". Strangely enough, it is not the incredibly large bruise that consumes a majority of her abdomen that she points to. This eases his fears, even if only slightly. She places her finger next to one bruise upon the inside of her upper thigh, before slowly trailing her finger back up her abdomen toward a small bruise on the underside of her left breast.

"Can I kiss them to make them better?" he asks, with a look of desperation in his eyes. "I thought you'd never ask" she says, with a sly grin upon her face. The sunlight shining through the blinds tells her it's still only late afternoon, but the way the light is playing up his beautiful facial features, she doesn't care if she spends the next three weeks never leaving this bed with him. _Hell_, why _should_ she leave? Four years of foreplay, they both deserve some quality time together.

He places a hand on her shoulder as he smiles at her, gently leaning her onto her back. She closes her eyes, wanting to be surprised by the feeling of his lips upon her skin. He begins at her neck, slowly running wet kisses down as she arches her head back, allowing him better access. He moves down the her chest and makes sure to place one small kiss upon her scar, unable to avoid reminding them both of what it took to get them here. _Together_. Then his kisses trace the underside of her left breast, as she feels his hot breath against her skin. Her body slightly tingles. She feels his smooth face rub against her skin, as he moves up the side of her breast, leaving a trail of kisses along the way. He traces his way around one breast, avoiding points that typically cause arousal in a woman. Yet somehow, her body feels aroused anyway, merely from his soft skin and gentle kisses.

He continues this pattern down her entire body, taking his time as he makes his way down her abdomen, and over to her hipbone. He traces circles on her sides with his hands as he softly kisses her hipbone, and moves his way over to her belly button, where he quickly dips his tongue, causing a moan to escape her. She is aroused merely by the beautiful love and emotion he puts into it each time he touches her. He moves his way down her long legs, paying careful attention to the bruise she pointed out on her upper thigh. As he head moves higher, another moan escapes her, and he continues placing wet kisses on the inside of her thighs. Her hips buck slightly, unable to control the need she has. The need for _him_, to be inside of her.

At the sudden movement, Castle freezes to look upon her face. Her eyes have turned a dark shade of brown and she has a look of desperation upon her face. He can tell her got her all sorts of aroused. Feeling guilty, he begins, "Kate I am so sorry, I never meant to… I mean I didn't go near there because I didn't want you to get all-" but she quickly grabs his hand to silence him.

"Castle, please, don't apologize for that, not now, not ever. The way you touch me and kiss me is just so beautiful, that my body can't help it. But I need you now, I need release, so please Castle, please-" but before she can even finish her sentence, he has returned to placing harder, more determined kisses upon her waistline, running his hands up and down the sides of her thighs. She lets out a loud moan, as he moves lower and lower until he is back to kissing, and licking the insides of her upper thighs. Soon she feels his two fingers part her, and he enters them into her, slowly thrusting up and down. He begins to separate them and swirl them around her insides, causing her to moan his name. His other hand is softly stroking her abs, sending chills down the back of her spine.

Soon, she feels his tongue between her legs, moving quickly and consistently in rhythm with his fingers. "Oh, _Rick_" she moans, unable to control the sounds being released from her body. "Oh Rick, please I need you inside of me. I need you to come with me, please Rick. _Please" _Just hearing those words from her mouth turns him on in an unimaginable way. He passes his tongue over her clit, causing her to moan again, before removing his mouth from her. He adjusts his fingers so that he can circle his thumb over her clit, and he continues thrusting his fingers inside of her. He then slides up her body and places his erection in between her legs. He quickly removes his fingers and enters her in one swift motion, and she screams his name as he fills her.

"Oh, you like that baby?" he asks, licking his fingers clean as she watches him with that dark desperate look still in her eyes. He continues thrusting inside of her, and grinding his hips against hers in a circular motion that drives her wild. He speeds up his pace and slows back down, allowing her to get as much pleasure as possible before her release. He can feel her getting close as she tightens around him. She places one hand on her breast and begins teasing her nipple as she throws her head back into the pillows, moaning loudly.

Her other hand is caressing and grabbing his ass as he continues to thrust into her. "I'm so close Castle" she manages to moan, as he sees in her eyes she is about to break. She arches her back off the bed, allowing him access the thrust deeper. "Ohhhh _Rick"_ she screams as her muscles continue to clench around his shaft. He doesn't know if it's the sight of her playing with herself or the sound of his given name being screamed by this beautiful woman that breaks him, but she takes him with her as she rides the waves of her orgasm. His thrusts get slower and slower as she orgasms, and he empties himself into her.

He slides out of her as they both collapse onto their backs, exhausted. "Well," she struggles to get her words out over her own panting, "_That_'s one way to make it all better…." They laugh as she places her head on his chest, once again, relaxed.


	7. Chapter 7

This time it is Kate who wakes up first, unable to sleep with the distraction of a ringing phone. She reaches off the bed to see her still rain-soaked jeans on the ground, and realizes she never took her phone out of the pocket. After all, they had been out of the bed room most of the day and the time they spent in it…well there were other _distractions_. More _enjoyable_ distractions, she thinks to herself, quickly glancing to her partner who is still fast asleep.

As she grabs the phone out of her pocket she checks the caller ID… _12__th__ precinct. _Unsure if she's able to handle the situation right now, she lets it go to voicemail. Maybe when Rick wakes up (and she has a cup of coffee), she can begin to assess the damage that has been done.

She slowly attempts to sneak out of bed, not wanting to wake him, but before she knows it he begins to stir. "Kate? Where are you going? Stay in bed", he says in a sleepy voice. She softly chuckles, recalling how there were very different circumstances the last time she heard those words from his mouth. "Well Castle, I need to get out of bed to figure out why we've been drugged and handcuffed together…". Her sarcastic tone wakes him up, and he grabs at her wrist to pull her closer to him.

"Very funny Kate… now come here and give me a good morning kiss" he says with a sleepy smile on his face. "Castle, I would hardly call it a good morning kiss when it's-", she glances down at her phone, "7:30 at night". "Ok," he replies, "good evening kiss then", as he pulls her into his arms, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss. A loud beeping sound startles him and causes them to break apart.

"What was that?" he asks, confused. "My phone, I got a call from the 12th while you were sleeping. I let it go to voicemail" she replies, matter-of-factly. "Do you really think that's a good idea, Kate?" he begins hesitantly, "What if it's important?".

She bites her lip, thinking about her response. _I suppose it can't hurt to listen right?_ "Alright Castle, but stay with me, please?"

"Always, Kate", he replies with a smile, giving her reassurance as she punches in her voicemail password. Castle waits impatiently as she listens to the voicemail, and a few moments later, she places the phone down, a stunned look upon her face. "Castle, Cole Maddox is dead".

After the initial shock wear off, Kate explains that Gates wants her to come in to talk about what happened, and the possibility of reconsidering her resignation. Castle convinces her that this could be a good thing for her, and for _them_. The death of Maddox not only provides closure to her shooting, but also to her mother's murder, both of which played a huge part in Kate's emotional growth and bringing them closer together.

She eventually agrees, but under one circumstance… that he will come with her. Unwilling to let her go alone anyway, Castle quickly agrees to go with her, and they get dressed and head off to the precinct. On the way there, Kate says she would feel most comfortable if they didn't bring up their relationship to anyone other than immediate family yet, especially at the precinct. With all the issues with the case, and Ryan and Espo's partnership, they both feel there will be a lot of other explaining to be done.

When they arrive at the homicide floor, to their surprise they are greeted by Ryan _and _Esposito. And they're both _smiling?_ From what Kate had told him about what had happened that night, he never thought he would see them together so soon, and _smiling_? He glances over to Beckett, whose face mirrors his confused look. Clearly they made the right decision not to tell anyone about their relationship yet, because it looks like these two are going to have a _lot_ of explaining to do.


	8. Chapter 8

Castle and Beckett hesitantly step off the elevator, and begin walking towards their seemingly reconciled friends. Seeing their looks of confusion, it is Espo who breaks the silence, "Yo, look at these two, bro" he says, nudging Ryan and looking to Castle and Beckett's hands which are nearly touching. Now Ryan finishes his sentence, "Yeah, first they're holding hands in the middle of the precinct and now this?"

Castle and Beckett both get shocked looks on their faces and reply in unison, "What?". Esposito laughs and says, "It really is _so _cute when you two do that. And what do you think we are, blind? Seriously what's going on with you two?"

This time it is Beckett who composes herself enough to respond, biting her lip to hold back a smile, "Us? What about you two? When I left you guys didn't seem to be on great terms…".

"Yeah," Castle chimes in, "I heard your bromance was on the rocks last night"

Esposito laughs as he responds, "Ryan cornered me in the elevator last night, and we … talked it out"

"Talked it out?" Ryan replied with a grin, "More like _hugged_ it out, Javi" nudging him in the ribs with his elbow.

"Yo, bro, that isn't very manly. _Talked _it out. Not-," he gets a disgusted look on his face, "_hugged _it out. After all they're not telling us everything, so why should we?" The boys turn toward them, simultaneously crossing their arms and glaring back and forth between the guilty-looking pair.

Castle decides to change the subject by embracing Ryan, and thanking him for doing the right thing the night before. Beckett moves in to hug Esposito in unison, pleased that her friends seem happy again. "Thank you guys, both of you. You both had my back last night, in your own way. And I couldn't be more grateful to you two".

Castle continues, with a slight look of regret in his eyes, "Yeah, Ryan I'm sorry I missed your call last night. And I'm sorry I wasn't there last night. Thank you guys for having my partner's back -" he flashes Beckett a smile and resists the urge to hold her hand, "If I couldn't be there, I couldn't imagine two better people to save her life."

After a few more hugs and a little small talk, Beckett asks the boys to brief her on what has happened to Maddox. Both are suspicious that it took her so long to ask about him, after how determined she had been the previous day to find him. Even near-death experiences have never really stopped Beckett from chasing down bad guys in the past. Especially if it involved her mom's case. Yet something was different today. She seemed _happier_. And something told them it had something to do with the ruggedly handsome crime novelist standing in front of them. After all, he had been off the team yesterday, and now they were showing up _together_ merely a half hour after Ryan's call.

Nonetheless, they explain to the pair that Maddox's body had been found in the rental car they had traced the day before. His body had some severe bruising, but the COD was a bullet through the heart. _Ironic._ Beckett thought to herself as she heard the news. Judging by the lack of blood at the scene, it appeared the body had been dumped. CSU was still checking for any DNA evidence that may identify the killer. They all continued discussing the case, Castle periodically glancing over to make sure Beckett was doing ok. They both couldn't help but notice Ryan and Espo giving them suspicious glances every time they engaged in conversation. Then when Gates called Beckett and Esposito into her office, Castle swore he saw Ryan snap a photo of him watching Beckett as she walked away. _Strange_.

Esposito came out of the office first, explaining Gates had lifted his suspension because she wanted him back on the case. But she made him promise there would be no more funny business. Castle became suspicious as Ryan and Espo walked into the break room, and closed the blinds. When they returned, they got into the elevator, and just left. _What the hell is going on here_ Castle thought to himself. But he was interrupted as he saw Beckett walking out of the captain's office. After asking what happened, she explained that her resignation was not accepted and that Gates was giving her until tomorrow morning to decide whether or not she could handle being on this case. Beckett had agreed to consider under one condition, that her partner could come back as well. Gates, finally beginning to realize that this unorthodox partnership works well for her, and maybe he may keep her out of trouble, agrees, with little hesitation. Castle and Beckett agree to discuss this when they get home from the precinct tonight.

Just then Ryan and Esposito return, Espo carrying a thick case file. After Beckett explains what has happened and says they are going to head out for the night, Esposito stops her, "Not so fast, Beckett. You two are gonna want to see this…" Esposito lays the case file on the table in front of them, and both Castle and Beckett's jaws drop, in shock….

**Sorry it took so long for an update! It's been really crazy because my birthday is coming up tomorrow and I have a lot of stuff going on! I really hope you like where this is going and reviews are appreciated~! Thanks!**


	9. Chapter 9

When Ryan and Esposito laid out the case file, the mystery writer and his muse expected to see a new lead. Some mug shots of an ex-con with a connection to Maddox. Probably living under a fake identity. Most likely an ex-military man who was connected to Johanna Beckett's murder. Maybe even some gruesome crime scene photos. But not this. Definitely not _this._

It wasn't the faces of ex-cons looking back at them, but rather _their own faces._ "We started this a few days after you guys met", Ryan begins, "figured we would need to use it as proof when the time was right. Turns out four years allowed us time to gather _a lot _of evidence." As a trained detective, Beckett analyzed the file one piece at a time. In the corner where the last name of the deceased usually appears along with their date of death, the file said "_Caskett; September 2008 to Present"_. Judging from her hairstyles in the photos, Beckett could tell some of these really did date all the way back to when they met.

There was a photo from the first case they ever solved together, where she whispered into Castle's ear at the crime scene before she had sauntered away, leaving him wanting more. There was a photo of her teaching him how to shoot at the range. _Little did she know he was much better than she thought._ There were several photos of him arriving at crime scenes with a cup of coffee for her during the first days of their partnership. Then there was a photo she recognized immediately, from the crime scene with the mad gunman Castle had distracted with the champagne bottle. The first day he saved her life. The photo was taken in the aftermath, when Castle had whispered in her ear. She can still feel his warm breath on her cheek, and the chill that ran up her spine that day. _She was so sure he was going to kiss her. _Looking back on that day, she begins to wonder if he actually wanted to kiss her, or if she just wanted him to so badly she led herself to believe it would happen. They had always had a connection after all. Even the slightest graze of his hand often made her feel more of a connection to him than she ever had with any other man, even in their most intimate moments. She always knew the connection was there, she just wasn't ready to see it.

Then there was a photo of her kissing Will in the break room. What catches her eye is the photo next to that, of Castle with a cup of coffee and a sad look on his face. _Did he see them? Did I put that look on his face? _The next photo she sees she recognizes from the book launch party. There is a photo of her entering in that low cut blue dress, then behind it, a photo of Castle, sitting at the bar, staring. _Looks like it got his attention after all_. The next photo was of her face as she read the dedication. She was still in shock that Ryan and Esposito somehow managed to take pictures of all these special moments they shared. She slid her hand to move some of the photos over, to get a glimpse at a few more. She saw one of them looking into each other's eyes before Ryan and Espo walked in and asked if they were interrupting. Then a photo of Castle and Kira, which she recognized as the surveillance photo of them kissing on the roof. Then there was a photo of her and Kira before she left the precinct. At the bottom three words were written, "_He's all yours_". She smiles to herself, knowing those words finally ring true.

She takes a moment to glance up at Castle, to see his reaction. He sends her a small smile and brushes his hand against hers before he returns his eyes to the photos. She sees a photo of Castle holding her back after she shot Dick Coonan at the precinct. Another of Castle carrying her out of her apartment after the explosion. One of Castle on the ground after she had removed the screws from his chair. _Aka bad luck from the mummy's curse . _Then she recognized a few photos of her laughing in front of the murder board with Demming. She remembered this, of course, but what she never remembered seeing is what she now _can't miss_ in the background of the photo. _A very sad Castle. _She looks through several more similar photos, one where he looks just plain angry, and another where he is sitting on a desk and rolling his eyes at them. _Could it be that he had feelings for her even that early on_? _That he was actually jealous?_

She spotted a few photos of her and Royce, and several of Castle again looking a little jealous. There was one of them holding hands after the triple killer case. Then one of her along with Natalie Rhodes, the creepy Nikki lookalike. And one of Natalie kissing Rick in the elevator. _Now there's a moment I don't care to relive._ Then there was one of them smiling in the elevator as Beckett used her grandfather's trick to hand Rick a bouquet of flowers after his breakup with Gina. The next photo was of them having a beer with the gang after the bomb scare, and Castle is looking into her eyes as he admitted that he knows how lucky he is. Then of course there is a photo of her with Josh at the precinct, and she wonders if it hurt him when he saw them together.

The next few photos are within the last year. Him at her bedside in the hospital. Them together after the bank robbery. The two of them walking down the aisle at Ryan's wedding. Several of them laughing and enjoying each other's company at the precinct. One of them holding hands at Castle's loft, which makes her wonder if Alexis was in on all of this because who else could have taken this photo? When she looked at the photos from the past year, she couldn't help but notice she hasn't seen herself look so happy since her mother's death. Castle really had changed her, and she has had feelings for him for longer than she was willing to admit. She felt him brush his hand to hers again, because they both knew what kind of photos would follow these. Secrets had torn them apart this past year, and neither of them wanted to relive the pain they put each other through. But maybe it needed to be done. _After all, their friends went through all this trouble to show them they belong together, right?_

Castle edged the photos over to reveal the next set of photos underneath. This first one caused him to cringe. It was him and Jacinda, the flight attendant he had used to punish Beckett for breaking his heart. He saw a few small words written in the bottom corner of the photograph. Straining his eyes, he managed to make out the words, "_He's pulling away_". He looks up at Kate, and he can see tears beginning to well up in her eyes. He wants to hold her, and kiss her, and say he's sorry for the millionth time for hurting her like that. But he also wants to protect her privacy and her wishes. And if she doesn't want anyone to know about their relationship, he is not about to kiss her and tell her how much he loves her in the middle of the precinct, in front of all her friends. Instead, he settles upon slowly linking his fingers through hers, hoping his touch will soothe her somewhat. It seems to be working, because she smiles up at him and nods, giving her approval that he can continue revealing the photographs.

However, when he sees the final set of photographs in the file, it is him who begins to tear up. There were four snapshots taped to a piece of paper. One was of Castle and Jacinda leaving the room. The other, was of Beckett's face as she watched them go. She looked so broken. So hurt. _And all because of me._ But what really got to him was the other two photos. One was of him and Gina, and he recognized it from the day they left arm-in-arm for the Hamptons. And underneath that was one of Beckett, with the exact same heartbroken face she had made two years later when he left with Jacinda. That look on her face explains why she was so angry when he returned to the precinct after that summer. And why it seemed to bother her so much that he hadn't called. _Had she changed her mind that day? And then he had left with Gina? Did she care about him, even back then?_

Realizing he needs to say something, he begins, "Kate-", but she quickly silences him with her own words. "I know Castle, I should have told you", she begins softly. "I had changed my mind that day. I broke up with Demming, and I was going to tell you I wanted to come to the Hamptons with you, but then Gina showed up".

Castle stood there in shock. He couldn't believe that just yesterday he believed Kate didn't care about him, when in reality she had cared for years now, and he had hurt her without even knowing it. "Why didn't you tell me Kate? Why didn't you tell me then? And why didn't you tell me _now?_ Were you ever going to tell me? Did you have feelings for me even back then? Did you break up with Demming because of me?". All the questions began to flow from his mouth, as if he couldn't control them. All the questions that Kate never had an answer for until now.

She couldn't stand listening to him doubt her feelings any longer. There were too many questions. Too many hurt feelings to relive. Too many missed opportunities. But she couldn't stand listening to him ask all the questions she had been afraid to answer herself for years.

She just wanted it to stop.

She wanted to shout.

So she shouted.

In the middle of the precinct. In front of all her friends.

She shouted those four words, giving him the only answer she can, the only answer that made any sense to her…

"_Because I love you Castle!"_

**Thank you guys so much for reading I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm trying to keep the ideas original so please please please let me know what you think about this! I'm going on vacation this week but I am hoping to update as soon as possible! But feedback is always appreciated so please review! Thank you!**


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